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The Dream That Changed My Life

By Vern Woolf

In the late sixties I was teaching an integrative class in science and religion at BYU when I had a very vivid dream. In this dream I saw a valley, green and flowing with life. Suddenly the valley was filled with darkness and I could see the hands of people reaching up through the darkness. The hands were filled with agony and I asked, "What are the hands, Lord?" A voice responded, "They are the hands of parents who have children on drugs. They are lost in the darkness, looking for the light, and they have no place to go."

I awoke in a sweat. So vivid was the image and so clear was the voice that I could not get back to sleep for the rest of the night. The next morning I was walking to Church when one of my neighbors, coming from around the block, just happened to meet me as we crossed the street. I nodded my head in greeting as we stepped onto the sidewalk together and then I noticed his hands. They were clasped together as if he were in some sort of terrible agony.

I stopped and stared at his hands. They were the hands I had seen in my dream! He also stopped and, as my eyes rose to meet his, he fell into my arms and wept "I have a son on drugs. I am lost in the darkness. I am searching for the light and I have no place to go."

These were the words of my dream! My first thought was that of the scientist in me. "How can I be experiencing what happened in my dream last night?" Then the therapist in me took over. I began to comfort him with words that gave him encouragement (I thought), calmed him down and, by the time we had walked a couple of blocks to the church, he was able to manage being in public. I knew I had not helped him really solve anything.

That day I received two more calls, each from parents who had a child, "on drugs" and they were "lost in the darkness" unable to "find the light," and "had no place to go." My last phone call was from Connie Rogers. I had known Connie from my days of teaching in the Institute of Religion in Southern California. She explained she had a brother on drugs and, as I listened to the now familiar words, I was fully at attention. "What can I do?" I asked. She explained her brother and a small group of his friends from their motorcycle club were trying to get off drugs. She told me they were having a meeting that very evening. Would I attend? I got the address and, after dark, I wound my way through some small homes on the industrial side of the railroad tracks. It was an area of the city that I did not know existed and it was a long way from the lights of the university grounds.

I spotted a few motorcycles and made my way up the stairs and through an open door into a run down room where seven people sat in a circle. All were dressed in "hippie" clothes typical of motorcycle gangs of the time. I was in my dark suit with a thin dark tie. They were having an open discussion and I just listened. Each Sunday evening, for the next six months, I attended their meetings. They lasted until late in the evening and I just sat and listened. Finally, one of the young men turned to me and asked, "Hey man, what are you doing here? Are you on drugs or something?" I told him, "No, I am not on drugs." "Well what are you doing here?"

"I am here to help parents with kids on drugs. They feel lost in the darkness and are looking for the light and they have no place to go."

It was electric. "Oh," he said, "we can help with that." The group came alive. It was as though they had been waiting for a direction. We discussed family dynamics, how people get driven into drugs, how it is a matter of substituting one form of addiction for another, how religion played its part and the culture supported drug abuse. We decided to invite others.

Four weeks later we had 120 people showing up for the meetings. We moved into the abandoned basement of an old church. Another two weeks later we had over 600 people attending. From those early meetings we organized a drug rehabilitation program (The Utah County Council on Drug Rehabilitation or "UCCODAR" for short). We won the support of every major organization in both the community and government. The LDS Church, which is the majority in Utah, organized its first drug rehabilitation program in coordination with what we were doing, and we opened six drug rehabilitation centers (called "The Gathering Place") in each of six different cities. I became Executive Director of the program and my world turned around.

Almost everything I had been teaching for the past 15 years, in both religion and in the psychology department, did not work. It was as though I had to look at life through entirely different eyes. People "on the street" coming in from all over the country, did not think or act in the same way I was brought up to believe people thought and acted.

I was finishing my Ph.D. in developmental psychology. I had specialized in Marriage and Family Relations and my major was Marriage and Family Therapy. But nothing matched the experience I was having with the drug culture behind the scenes, on the streets of peaceful Provo, Utah. It was a polarized society. Half the kids in the local high schools were on drugs. The other half lived in "happy valley" as part of the "community of saints".

I decided to do my Ph.D. dissertation on the development of consciousness. Were the kids on drugs different than other kids who were not on drugs? I set up one of the most extensive testing models ever attempted up to that time in history. It took over 4 hours for each person to complete the testing. There were 94 variable, everything from education, family backgrounds, beliefs, religious histories, politics, and everything else that anyone considered important. To top it off I became a Kohlburg Moral Maturity Tester and trained half a dozen others to code the moral maturation of every participant. We took over 300 people, half from the drug culture and half from Brigham Young University (where drugs are totally forbidden), and tested them. The end result was that, of the 94 variable, only one showed significant differences. It was moral maturity.

The drug group tested 17 times as many morally mature participants as did the non drug group. It also tested 16 times as many people at the lowest level of maturity. The test group taken from the student body of BYU, showed highest concentration in the middle. It was a perfect bell shaped curve. The biggest mystery of the study for me, was to discover who were the "mature" people in the drug abusing group.

What I discovered was that morals, ethics and values cannot be measured according to demographic variables. They do not depend upon family history, cultural ethics, or religious experience. They depend upon the emergence of the level of consciousness of the people.

I completed my Ph.D. dissertation but I never completed my study of consciousness. It became my life passion. I started with a dream and took me down a path completely different from the one I thought my life would take.

We wiped out drug abuse in six cities. We were a “happening” something impossible to define. We met at “gathering places” and held “gatherings” that had no agenda except to “be there” for people. We organized the kids who had come “off” drugs into couples who “re-parented” those who asked for help in “breaking the habit”.Our theme, if there was one, was “get high on life” and we broke all the rules. We used role playing, psychodrama, open and gentle confrontation. We identified all the games without any of the judgements. We were “family” and we faced the world together. We reached out, brought other in, took on the syndicate with love and openness. We tracked the pushers, befriended the backers and stayed almost totally within our own internal references. The crime syndicate sent agents in to harass and physically beat up our kids. They floated free heroin and no one would take it. The State and Federal authorities on drug and alcohol rehabilitation put immeasurable pressure upon us. They did everything possible to administratively suppress us. Eventually they required a 12 hour intake procedure before anyone even just smoking pot could enter the program. But it did not matter. It was impossible to break the bond that united us.

Finally a staff member, one responsible for accounts, arranged a sting operation to discredit me. To some extent, it worked and I resigned in protest after a vicious series of false accusations. It was too late. We had done our job and the cities remained drug free for the next decade. I learned how to make a difference. I had learned what works with people. Not just theory but acting from a state of being. I never looked back.

I opened a private clinic and began to teach family members who had an identified patient in the State Mental Hospital. Within four years we had emptied out over 80% of the hospital patient load. The pressure to stop reached the highest levels of state government and finally we moved on to prison reform, juvenile offender’s programs, street gangs, and other socially identified “problem” populations. We dismantled two “satanic” groups that were abusing young women, took on dysfunctional corporate conglomerations, and took on the cold war and terrorism in the Middle East.

Through it all, the scientist in me sought to explain how we created such extra-ordinary results. My background in physics provided the basic tools to apply quantum physics to consciousness. I added information theory, holographics and neurobiology and correlated the findings with those of developmental psychology. I developed a new mind model and a series of processes for making a difference in states of consciousness. I tested these in each of the situations mentioned above and wrote the book “Holodynamics” to reveal some of the findings. Now, having taught seminars around the globe, I have just finished the book “The Dance of Life: Living in a Conscious Universe” and six manuals that bring new clarity to the research done over the past four decades.

So who are we?

We are a group of people who apply the modern sciences and other information from various schools of thought, to better understand the nature of consciousness and how to make a difference in the world. 

We are an emerging population of people who posses a sensitivity to local and global problems and believe that every problem is caused by its potential solution. Every set of circumstances is driven by potential, everything is connected and the planet is part of a living, multi-dimensional conscious universe.

We create extra-ordinary results and any problem is our potential solution. If any of this sounds familiar, just remember, you are not alone. We invite you to come explore with us, the wonders of this magnificent world. 
(Vern )

THE POWER OF TRANSFORMATION

"When one person transforms we all win, we all transform."